Feb 8, Living Together.
Moving in together is both an exciting and scary proposition. Cohab i tat ion is on the rise in the U. Moving in together presents its own set of unique challenges, from splitting chores, to divvying up money, to figuring out how much time to spend together. We spoke to three relationship experts for tips and advice to make moving in together go as smoothly as possible.
It may be tempting to move in together out of convenience. Lisa Concepcion, a Certified Professional Love Life Coach with LoveQuest Coachingsays she often sees clients moving in together way too fast, and for the wrong reasons. Having a conversation about the goals and the whys of moving in together is a big first step toward making cohabitation a reality.
Would you rather be engaged first? Or are you both okay with simply living together with no further commitment? Make sure you feel ready — financially and personally — to lives with another person.
The person moving in should have equal say about what stays and what goes, how to decorate, etc. Concepcion also recommends ing a lease together on a new place and doing so intentionally. If one of your leases ends sooner, ask your landlord for a few extra months where you can pay rent month to month. Will you need to rent a truck, hire full-service movers, or use a portable moving container to make downsizing and storage easier? Who will do the laundry or will you each do your own?
Yours, mine, or ours
Who takes out the trash? Solomon encourages couples to make an agreement rather than a compromise when talking about chores. Money is also a big issue to talk about before moving in together. Have an open and honest dialogue about who is paying for what. Will you split the rent, or will one person pay rent and the other be in charge of food and bills? Do you put money into a t for household expenses or do you keep your own s? Moving in together is an exciting step in a relationship, and you may be tempted to spend all your waking hours with the other person.
Plus, if you keep up with your own friends and hobbies, this ensures you always have something new and exciting to talk about at the dinner table. She recommends keeping money separate, at least at first.
Later on, couples can create a t checking to deal with household bills. Concepcion says furniture and the lease agreement are also important topics in case of a breakup. If you are buying property together or going in on a mortgage, she says you may want to consider bringing in an attorney to draft an agreement that can stand up in court.
A lot of people approach moving in together, getting married and having kids with a highly romanticized viewpoint. My way vs.
You have to talk about money
There are just so many more opportunities for conflict. Instead, try to focus on the good things.
Moving in together means there will be lots to discuss, constantly! While some of those things might be cute, others might be downright annoying.
The ultimate guide for couples moving in together
Choose a time every week for a check-in. You can have a running list of things that bother you, and during check-in time, bring them up with your partner. Think of new and exciting things to do together, like ballroom dancing, getting a scuba certification, or taking up an outdoor activity like cycling.
Living together is also a great opportunity to get to know yourself and your own triggers. A partner provides a mirror into what you need to improve.
Kristin Hanes is a freelance writer and blogger living in San Francisco. Decide, rather than slide, into moving in together It may be tempting to move in together out of convenience.
Moving in together? 8 relationship-saving tips from the experts
Also, be sure to schedule time away from the other person. Expect bumps along the road A lot of people approach moving in together, getting married and having kids with a highly romanticized viewpoint. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
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