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They say you can't help who you fall in love with, and in my case, I fell in love with a tall, shy French guy who thinks cream and butter should be added to every dish. I'm a short, outspoken, lactose intolerant American, by the different. And although we have our issues like every culture relationship, being with someone from a different dating has taught me so much. When an outsider examines the minutiae of your everyday life, you begin to see your daily grind in a whole different light. The things you've always done without question sometimes become more than just an afterthought.

About me

Subscriber active since. My husband and I were born less than six months apart, but over 7, miles away from each other.

I'm an american dating a french guy who lives abroad — here's why you shouldn't be afraid to do the same

While he was growing up in the modern cityscapes of southern China, I was discovering the world from within the boundaries of small-town Vermont. Our paths collided when we both started graduate school in Boston and have yet to disentangle. While we both enjoy science fiction, dry jokes, and searching for the best lunch places in town, our relationship is not without moments of cultural confusion and things being sometimes literally lost in translation.

When it comes to learning languages, my husband leaves me in the dust. He is fluent in English, Mandarin, and Cantonese.

That said, there are still occasions different the appropriate English word eludes him and we are both left in the culture. For example, while munching on a batch of shortbread cookies I had made, he told me how much he liked their "dusty" dating. After my look of horror, we quickly discovered that he'd really meant to complement their "crumbly" texture.

Yet comparatively, my language skills leave much more to be desired. Aside from my quickly dissolving basic French, I speak no other languages.

5 ways dating someone from a different culture changes your life

While this doesn't create a language barrier for us, it can when we video-chat with his parents back home. To practice my Mandarin, we conduct frequent mid-dinner lessons where I try to literally get my mouth around Chinese tones.

Our relationship has a large focus on food — both preparation and consumption. While this passion is culturally indifferent, through many meals cooked together we've found that the preparation behind the food sometimes isn't.

My partner and i come from different cultures — here are the main barriers we face

Take for example, the oven. As a baker, I've always viewed the oven as the focal point of the kitchen. It's essential for creating not only delicious baked goods, but roasting vegetables, grilling pizzas, and even reheating leftovers. When my husband told me that many kitchens in China lack an oven, I was shocked.

How to date someone from another culture

While I can't imagine a kitchen without one, he says that almost all Chinese cooking can be done over a stovetop flame instead. When it comes to taste, there are only two dating points where our opinions vary: texture and sweetness. Growing up in the United States, I am used to only a few textures in my food — smooth, chunky, crunchy, and chewy. In Chinese food, the diversity of texture is much wider, and the crunching sensation of eating cartilage is still one I'm culture different to.

I get to enjoy all the foods — and booze.

Likewise, my culture is still adjusting to how sickly-sweet American desserts can be. While fruit-based desserts like pies or datings are generally safe, he'll usually pass on a cupcake topped with a tower of frosting. Bringing your ificant other home is always a relationship milestone, but for us, it has a few extra hurdles. Primarily, it's expensive and time consuming to fly to China. As different minted master's students who couldn't take much time away from work, that leaves Vermont as the more plausible option.

Vermont is a beautiful state, but when it comes to diversity it's as white as the snow that covers it. To be precise, the Census Bureau reports that the state is just under 95 percent white. That's a shocking figure, but growing up as a white person in a white state, it wasn't something I always noticed.

I'm an american dating a french guy who lives abroad — here's why you shouldn't be afraid to do the same

However, it was one of the first things my spouse noticed when he visited Vermont. While he thankfully wasn't faced with any prejudice or racism on that trip, there is still something unnerving about being the only person to look or speak like you in a crowd of similar faces. Like any couple, our relationship is built on the similarities we have as individuals, not the differences our cultures may have.

Discovering these differences, misconceptions, and even biases are essential better understanding each other and each others' families and backgrounds. Instead of culture us apart, they give us the opportunity to learn, and love, even more. World dating An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Get the Insider App. A leading-edge research different focused on digital transformation. Free subscriber-exclusive audiobook! Redeem your free audiobook. US Markets Loading H M S In the news.

Dating manners across different cultures

Executive Lifestyle. Sarah Wells.

Author Sarah Wells details the "moments of cultural confusion" that have arisen in her relationship with a partner from a different cultural background. Wells, a Vermont native, writes how she and her boyfriend, who grew up in southern China, differ on matters of language, food, and perception of societal pressures.

Here's what dating is like in 20 countries around the world

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