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Posted May 12, Reviewed by Lybi Ma. Dating someone with depression can be hard. Their false but strong belief that they have accomplished nothing or that they have little to live for can leave you feeling helpless, and confused as to how to respond. These all-or-nothing, black-and-white thought patterns often illustrate depressed thinking. Depression has a loud and convincing voice that dominates the minds of those who suffer from it. There's little room for reason, which makes it hard for partners to know how to be helpful.

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If you are dating someone with depressionsuddenly you might find yourself alone in this relationship — a far lonelier place than actually being alone. The person you love might be gone, and you have no idea who is this listless, melancholy person in front of you.

Top 9 things to consider when dating someone with depression

If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and lots of questions. How will the symptoms and treatment impact your relationship? What can you do to help them through hard times? You are not alone. According to the National Institute of Health, 10 percent of the population of the United States, at any given time, exhibits symptoms of depression. Of that 10 percent, a staggering 50 percent do not seek any type of treatment to alleviate those depressive symptoms.

Dating someone with depression: 10 tips for a healthy relationship

Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. Not in the way you both want to be anyway.

Depression is not a cookie-cutter disorder. For each individual the symptomatology may be different. Some may want to sleep their depressed and nights away, others cannot sleep because combined with their depression is anxiety, and instead of peacefully drifting to sleep they cannot shut their brain down. These thoughts are typically self-blaming thoughts.

They may also include thoughts of deal connected to worst-case dating outcomes of persons or relationships in your life where you imagine failing. Symptoms of depression include:. Depression sucks the life out of life. It also looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. When How bites, everything becomes hard. Life starts to hurt. Those who are bitten stop looking forward to things. They stop engaging and they stop enjoying things, even the things they used to love.

Dating someone with depression can be tough. It is difficult to see someone you care about struggle and not able to help them. If your loved one has depression, he or she may feel hopeless or show s of social withdrawal, which can leave you feeling like you did something wrong when you did not. Understanding depression can help you communicate with your partner when their depression manifests. By learning and practicing new relational skills, you can foster with and closeness with your partner, even when they are struggling with depression.

How to support a romantic partner who has depression

You can learn how to support your partner and how to be supported. Although, it might be time to be concerned about your relationship.

You can definitely be in a healthy relationship with someone who has a mental illness but keep an eye out for when things get unhealthy. Violence or abuse of any capacity should not be tolerated, regardless of mental illness status. Your safety is important, and that comes first.

A great way to support your loved one is to learn everything you need to know about depression, including its causes, symptoms, and treatments. You can start with the following reputable sources:.

Dating someone with depression? don’t forget to support yourself, too

Mental Health America. National Alliance on Mental Illness. National Institute of Mental Health. The impact of untreated depression extends to all the dating closest to the person with depression. It is depressed to state that in one way or another most of us have been impacted by depression. You can help your loved one by helping them keep up with taking their medication and remembering appointments. You can also help them by reassuring them that asking for help is not a of weakness or something to be ashamed of.

Therapists, counselors, and support groups How not only for people with depression. Seeking professional help for yourself can help you feel supported, vent your frustrations, and make you deal aware of your own emotional needs. Therapy can also provide answers to any questions you have about coping with the depression of a loved one. More than anything else, those with depression just want you to person. Seeing you make an effort to understand them will mean the world to them. One of the most important things you can do for someone who is depressed is simply to be there for them and verbalize your with.

Hold them close or just listen while they share their feelings. Offer to help them with making appointments or doing some of the daily chores that they are struggling to keep up with. Let them know that you are there for them in whatever way they need while they make their recovery. They may become angry, irritable, or withdrawn.

They may not be interested in going out or doing things with you like they used to. Your spouse or ificant other may lose interest in sex. They are symptoms of the illness that requires treatment. When your loved one is depressed, they may often say one thing but mean another.

Distancing, or self-isolating is a common symptom of depression. Distancing is a self-destructing path, where the person pushes others away for one of many reasons.

This is often times a cry for help. Be there for them. Bring them food, put on a movie, and just be there. One of the worst parts about depression — is that it robs hopes.

Hope that they will actually feel better. Hope that the darkness will lift. Offer them hope by reminding them of their reasons to keep living, whatever they may be.

Relationship depression: how to cope

These reasons, which will be unique to the individual, can help them hold on a bit longer until the pain subsides. One of the common misconceptions of depressed people is that they are lazy. This comes from the fact that they can often be messy and unproductive when they are in depressive stages.

In fact, this is a direct symptom of depression. It is not that they are lazy, it is that they are exhausted, both mentally and physically. Calling them lazy for not cleaning or completing tasks will only worsen their depression and feeling of self-worth. Instead, try encouraging them or even offering to help them with these tasks and complete them alongside them. Deciding whether or not to end a relationship is a hard decision, and it can be even more difficult when worrying that your ex may sink into a deeper depression post-breakup.

Mental illness alone is no excuse to break up with someone. Lots of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long-lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. A condition in and of itself is not a reason to break up with somebody.

Although, it might be time to be concerned about your relationship, when mental illness symptoms are getting in the way of your day-to-day life, or your safety is being compromised. Some of the tell-tale s that your relationship is unhealthy:. In general, having a mental illness is not an excuse to treat someone poorly, with disrespect, or lack of empathy.

People with mental illnesses are certainly able to treat others with respect and love, just as people without a mental illness may treat you poorly. If you do decide to end your relationship, be conscious of how your words may affect your partner and be sensitive to the issues they are struggling with.

Remember that the negative thoughts you are experiencing are likely being driven by depression, not by a person. Depression can lead to the ultimate negative outcome of death, so please consider calling National Hotline if your ificant other is experiencing thoughts of self-harm. Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy MBCTwhich can have a positive effect on preventing relapse in recovered depressed patients.

It teaches how to deal with increasing stress in a way that separates them from the impact. It teaches people with recurrent depression skills meditation and breathing exercises. It reduces their chances of having another depressive episode.

Dating someone with depression. tips for dating & red flags.

This enables a person who has a tendency toward depression to not get swept up in the thoughts and feelings that contribute to his or her depression. It also helps to regulate and tolerate emotion. There is treatment and the depression can be treated. today via phone, live chat, or contact form submission. Overland IOP is a facility that demonstrates personalized care to every individual that arrives here, as every person is different and has unique requirements and objectives they want to meet.

Our teamat Overland IOP, offers services that range from mental health counseling to rehabilitative services for various and complex addictions.