Society may give chubby, curvy and fat women plenty of reasons to feel insecure about our bodies, especially when we get naked. We possess certain assets that not only make sex amazing for us — but also for our partner.
Originally published on Persephone Magazine. When I met my current partner a year ago, I was at my fattest, about pounds heavier than he is, making our sex the most drastic in terms of size difference relative to my past partners.
Such a pretty face
Please note: Fat sex is a very big issue heh. Because my area of expertise is limited to sex with size difference as a woman with a vagina, I chose not to explore other areas of fat sex, such as the mechanics of two fat people having sex or trans fat sex for women without vaginas.
I believe those issues are very important, but since I cannot speak to those experiences, I did not feel comfortable addressing them. I welcome all here with that experience to speak up and contribute if they feel comfortable. Sometimes that made me feel more at ease, but mostly it became tedious, distracted me from feeling sexy, and annoyed the crap out of my partner who just wanted to see his hot girlfriend naked.
Well, he totally knew how fat I was, and guess what.
What it's really like to date as a fat woman
It took me a long time to realize that my partners were chubby sex with me in need because of the way my body looks, not in spite of the way my body looks. This understanding is not something that happens overnight for most of us. Hell, it can take years. Really, this goes for people of all sizes, not just fat women.
You owe it to yourself and your partner to trust that they really desire you and to do the best you can to keep that in mind when you find you have a hard time letting go and really being seen during sex. As a good friend of mine put lady. In our culture, we have been taught to dread being able to pinch more than an inch and to be disgusted with our muffin tops.
But know this: The one place you should never, ever be ashamed of your body is during sex. That is the time to celebrate its capacity for giving and receiving pleasure. Instead of pulling away, enjoy it when your partner embraces your stomach or fondles it — soft voluptuous flesh can be a real turn-on.
The love handles you might hide under hoodies during the day should come out at night in all their glory. First, get please big, firm pillows. Next, find a firm, yet springy surface to do it on. Pillow top mattresses and memory foam tend to not be as easy to have sex on since you sink down into those surfaces instead of bouncing back. Next, get some decent water-based lubricant, just in case.
The vagina is inside of the body. Fat women can have more padding around the vagina on their mons pubis and labia than a thin woman, creating a potentially tricky situation. Most people have trouble with those positions.
I believe that as long as your partner is GGGthe two of you will be able to experiment in a productive, positive way. Depending on the size difference between you and your partner, missionary can be either no big deal or a bit of a challenge. First, get those pillows out. Put a pillow under either the small of your back or right under your butt.
Second, draw your knees up and pull your thighs toward your chest. This will give your partner optimal thrusting room since this positioning moves your thighs out of the way and really opens the vagina up for deep penetration. Plus, these simple modifications on missionary allow you more room to really feel your partner thrust! Once he began moving me around a bit, I found I could really get a hold on him and we both started having a really good time. I officially give you permission right this moment to get on top of your partner and ride that penis or strap-on until the cows come home.
First, know you may need to move your fat around until it feels comfortable.
Same with my thighs. Bellies hang, and thighs can swallow up a small partner, so repositioning is necessary in those instances. This makes it easier to really get down on itso to speak. When you do this, evenly distribute your weight by planting your hands firmly on the bed instead of sitting straight up.
This will give you lots of control. Another issue many women have with being on top, other than the fear of crushing their partner, is mobility. If you find that you become tired, allow your partner to hold you still and do all the thrusting from below! That can be a really nice compromise and can maximize your time on top. Finally, once I figured out that thrusting down on my partner was actually easier because I was fat, a whole new world opened up!
Yes, I said easier!
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Kind of like this. Doggie is a favorite fat sex position because it gives your partner plenty of room to work with — plus, the belly is out of the way. Personally, I do not find being on all-fours-doggie as easy as a modified doggie where you place your head lower than your behind, like this:. I highly recommend it.
Dayum! 9 reasons chubby girls are better in bed
I would also love to hear from the community. How have you made fat sex work for you? What is challenging about it? What do you enjoy about it? Please feel free to share for those readers who are struggling with this issue. Msvaginascience is a feminist, mother, lover, fat babe, student, and case worker extraordinaire, serving high risk women and families in Seattle.
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