I cant reveal my face though i dont do that on the internet. To be honest I've never had a real serious relationship. Plus I would like to shake off my shyness and prudishness.
This could just be a friendly meeting or possibly lead to more. I've just been bored lately and figured meeting a stranger off of would be interesting. About me: i'm friendly though im currently taking a break. I can be shy but can generally force myself out of it.
I also enjoy going shopping at goodwills. Even if you aren't free this week maybe another time? Please be around my age i guess betweenhwp, live in portland, interesting. If you do choose to respond please write something about yourself interests etc.
To the world: I have wronged this woman I care so much for. I have broken her trust not by cheating ,I have taken her for granted, I made her feel worthless, unloved, unwanted, like her love was worthless, like she was worthless. She gave me many chances I blew everyone.
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I took for granted that she would always be there. I do not deserve another chance, but I am begging for one. I was selfish, and I did not know how to be in a relationship,not a healthy one. I did not know what to do with somone I trruly loved.
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Before her I had never been in love, I thought I had many times but when I met her I learned what true love really was. I gave her my heart and soul. I opened myself up to her like noone before, I was naked and vulnorable for her. It was not enough. I did not give her what she really needed.
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She needed my love, my support, me not to be selfish, she needed to feel safe with me, she needed me not to take her for granted. To her and the world: I pledge in front of you my love and the entire world to never hurt you, break your trust, make you feel worthless, like your love is worthless, to never make you feel unsafe with me again!
Again I know I do not deserve another chance but this is me begging for one. I have learned from this finally that I have to change in order to make you and myself happy. I have been going to counseling, reading every book I can get my hands on, going to alanon meetings to deal with my childhood.
Anything and everything I can to learn the right way to be in a relationship.
To learn to be the person you fell in love with the one you saw when you looked at me. I am even taking dancing lessons because I know you love it so much and I can not dance. You have always had to dance with strangers instead of your own wife.
I never took you that often either because I couldn't do it. I am getting a job.
I am going to get you and I both a car. I am also going to get us a house. If you need to wait and see these things to believe them I understand and can wait. I want to show you that I have changed and I am continuing to change in a good way.
To my love: I know you are confused right now and you do not know what you want. I understand that you need time to think and time to see my actions live up to my words. I understand that you feel empty and hollow and worthless, like you will never be happy again that you will be alone forever,that your heart is broken and can not be repaired.
I am here to tell you that you are the most beautiful, intelligent, outgoing, fun loving, well read, sexy, talented, and unique person I have ever known. For you to feel anything less is a travisty.
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I know I put those feelings there and I want to replace them with the right feelings. I want to make you happy, to support you in your dreams, to love you like noone has ever been loved before, to hold you in my arms and make you feel safe again. I want to give you everything you desire, to make your dreams come true.
To make new dreams with you. I want to grow old with you, raise our children together, see our grandchildren grow up together. I want you to hold my hand as I take my last breath in this world. I want you to live your life knowing you are the most loved and cherrished person alive.
I know your world is upsidedown right now I just want you to let me put it right again. All I want is for you to be happy If that can not be with me I will understand. I will die inside and be alone for the rest of my life but I will understand I truly want you to be happy.
So with all of that baby I beg you on my hands and knees, I will beg you in public, I will beg you and tell the world how wrong I was to you, I will roll across broken glass naked literally if you would just agree to take me back. If there is something else you want me to do to win you back just name it. Your are my one true love, my soulmate, the one I share an unbreakable connection with.
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For you I would do anything, to share your life I would go to the ends of the earth. Just the mere sound of your voice or the ring on my from you makes my heart race. To hold you in my arms again to finally give you all you deserve to make you feel safe and loved again would be a dream come true for me.
Untill then I will be putting my words and promises into action for you to see. Goodnight baby I love you, jess.
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