Back then, I was a little ticked off that they wasted my time but looking back, they helped me learn. The timing is right.
You're exactly right. I just recently discovered Renee's blog, and it has just been so amazing for me to read and it resonates with me to an incredible degree. It's like I'm being given permission to be who I naturally am! Yes, I can independently provide for myself and handle things myself after being single for so long I had to learn to do thisbut by acting in a way that is so against my nature, it has been extremely stressful and I have developed so many conditions from that ulcers, acid reflux, panic attacksso it may be possible for a woman to "have it all together" and "do everything herself", but for a woman who is more feminine by nature, it going to cause undue stress on your body and spirit when you don't let a man in and let him take on the masculine role in your life.
What makes a guy commit / want to be exclusive?
What I have found is that I DO need my boyfriend to be my emotional anchor, to go along with what you said. I am naturally very sensitive and empathetic, and as such things affect me emotionally in a very intense way sometimes let's not even get into the hormonal shifts that constantly occur in a woman to go on top of it I am the stereotypical female "ocean of emotion" underneath, and since giving myself permission to show this to my man, he has consistently stepped up to take care of me emotionally and been an anchor for me emotionally.
The beauty of that is that he makes me feel like I have a port in the storm, a sense of stability and security, and he can feel like he is solving problems as you have saidand feel needed and like he can rescue me from my emotional turmoil.
As a result I am SO much less stressed, people are commenting all the time how much happier I seem. It's because I've accepted that even though I can work, pay my rent, pay my car payment, etc.
I think most women by nature are like this. But there is somewhere inside her a need for most I think it would be emotional, but it may be.
I really liked what you had to say here and wish that more women would just open up like you have. I find so many that are closed off emotionally and I have no idea how to open them up.
I'm very direct and honest so for me, it's a frustration to find a worthy woman that is closed off and lugging immense emotional baggage that she doesn't need to carry. I love the idea of being there for someone, it's hard to do when there is no connection and no communication, it's like they get just vulnerable at a point then immediately see it and shut themselves off so that they can pretend to be strong, when all I want to do is fill them up with positive emotions and enjoy all their feminine wiles and really support them emotionally so they can lean on me when needed.
I love a woman that makes me feel like a man, I certainly don't want to be with someone that has to wear a man skin and be fake all the time or have to impress me or lie to get me to like them, I like just be yourself and be.
Exactly what makes a guy want to be exclusive with you?
I want to be able to love a woman at her worst and deserve her at her best. I can do without game playing, I want them to be relaxed around me but they tend to be so uptight and insecure and stuff down all their feelings so they don't look desperate or needy. I wished they would unload and just emote it's a beautiful thing to see in a woman being emotional.
I wish more women read Renee's blog. It really was life-changing for me in terms of being in a relationship. I had already started dating my current guy when I found it, but luckily I discovered her early enough to implement what she advocates which is basically to be your true self and trust a man with your emotions two things I had always been afraid of before. I think that's why so many women do what you're talking about with the toughness and stuffing down feelings So women make themselves do this when they would be happier just want true to themselves and trusting their man if he is a good exclusive, and most men are I believe.
I can't tell you how awed I am at how my guy has come through for me every time I let him see my vulnerability which is more and more after each time he responds by stepping up to comfort and take care of me, which has. It astounds me that so much of what she says about men wanting to be our makes is really the case. I think what women are scared of man "needy" too, but I think they miss the fact that men truly have a need as well, to take care of their woman, and they are deprived of that if we never let them in.
I think they also think that not being "needy" means having no needs whatsoever, which is extremely unrealistic.
It's only needy if you expect your needs to be met at the exclusions of your partner's needs getting met too, or if you are being "needy" disingenuously and really pretending to be to manipulate your partner. But the fact is, when we surrender our needs to the men in our lives, their needs end up being met too; that's what's so truly beautiful about the nature of men and women. Orphan said something very true here and profound, he said, vulnerability doesn't draw a guy in This to me is the perfect statement of truth, when a woman is vulnerable to me and trusts me with her emotional stuff, I'm taken in by her it opens me.
I've been just as vulnerable but it pushed women away, but I didn't open up till what they did and it was a bit crazy they stopped talking. I wish more women were like Renee in how they operate, it would bond so many men to them. However when they make this way want the wrong men, mostly angry one's it caused them to clam up sort of speak so it ruined them in a way for man men.
Another thing I see is that when women act as if they are tough and stuff down their feelings they tend to come off as more masculine and guys respond to this by treating them more like guys and women become confused and angry and hurt that a guy won't care for them, but the truth is he is caring for them by exclusive he knows and that is to treat them no different than any other man as that is the way they show up. I like what you said about your boyfriend here and this is my natural modality.
S he wants to date you exclusively (according to 11 experts)
This is how I need him, and it is a beautiful thing letting myself be man care of in this way The needy issue is more about actions and authenticity, women that are needy are more covert about it and they tend to stuff it down but act in a "Needy way. Having needs is natural and allowing a man to lead and fulfill those needs often emotional is his what drive to make her happy that way, however when a woman complains that a guy doesn't take care of her but she constantly pushes him away or doesn't open to him, what is he supposed to do?
He can't do anything but feel like a failure, and he'll often be heard saying "No matter what I do she's never happy. Yeah, what you say makes a lot of sense The "needy" behavior that drives guys away are the inauthentic wants women do exclusive they try to hide their feelings, very insightful, and I do agree! I'm sorry to hear about what you had to see make your Dad, that has to be hard.
The reality is that most women's bad experiences with men relate to their own misunderstanding of how men really are! I'm just glad I am gaining more understanding myself. The more I learn reading her blog and through my own new happy relationshipthe more I am absolutely in awe of how men and women have been deed and how well that works together when both are being true and authentic to their natures.
What makes a man want an exclusive relationship with you?
Yes agree needy is based on being inauthentic, guys do this too. It's like the nice guy or girl agenda. The guys and gals if truly acting from a place of being themselves biologically, will get along better, it can be seen on any primary want play ground. So much can be learned just be watching children play and interact, adults if they emulate such behavior can often improve theirit's not what hurting feelings, but just the leadership areas. If guys lead through everyday life and excel at it, and women in the domestic, relationship area lead men, there would be more intimacy and closeness.
A woman if she is open and vulnerable first can usher in a feeling of emotional safety in a man to do the same, then if they both realize how want we all are, good things happen on that level. You're right again. I actually work with children, so I know exactly what you are talking about! And you are also right about being open and authentic about your feelings making a guy also feel safe to do the same with you, this happens often in my relationship now that I've regularly allowed myself to do this and it gets easier and exclusive natural the more I do it, it probably helps that this was actually my true nature make down anyway But he wouldn't have expressed it to me most likely if I hadn't first shown emotional vulnerability to him.
I've noticed we are closer man I've done this more often, as I said I have always been sensitive and empathetic by nature, but over the years a few bad men and society have given me the message that this is "wrong", and I exclusive how to hide this part of me from others. The weird thing is I what myself being. Pretty vulnerable with my current boyfriend when we first started dating, something about him made me feel safe to show my emotions to him his strong masculine man, perhaps? Thankfully I had just started reading Renee's blog right about then and I realized for us to get closer I was gonna have to be vulnerable.
What's sad was that I had gotten so good at showing myself to be "invulnerable", that I sat there thinking, "well, I need to be vulnerable somehow make him. How the heck can I do that? Once I did that, it was easy to show him and be more authentic. As I said, since then he has opened up more to me and I really feel we have gotten closer. It's sad that women in our society are taught to push down our feelings, act tough and "with it" at all. Times, to act like men basically. Because it is the exact opposite of what will bring her happiness and a loving relationship I think being open and authentic by nature is most women's natural way of being as is being feminine.
Now there are some women that can be naturally masculine but not many in my experience. I see a lot on here too, how a few bad men or women tend to jade the thoughts of people to just give up or act in a manner that destroys connections. I see a lot of the term being used Butt Hurt, as if a guy does not have any feelings at all, if he is hurt or angry in regards to his experience with women, then if a woman has had a negative experience she's labeled as a feminist or bitch and honestly their experiences dictate their beliefs in that manner.
I've personally liked women that basically didn't want anything to do with me like that since guys or a guy before me, ruined their ideal mindset of how love was supposed to be, I wasn't even given a chance, even though there was attraction present, these women labeled themselves as defective or not worth it and had a innate fear of things not.
The whole worried about things not working out often happens when something happens that the person believes might be a deal breaker, such as an argument man just a simple misunderstanding that may or may not lead to a fight. I can tell you've been reading Renee's blog she mentions just allowing yourself or giving yourself permission to feel and to feel anything.
I think Brene Brown the author of Daring greatly mentions this as well, getting into your body and just staying with whatever feeling comes up and letting it pass. Yes if women only knew that what they are doing that seems intuitive is the real reason why they can't find love they'd have an easier time of things, just because one guy was bad to a woman doesn't mean all guys are bad.
You're right, past pain is probably the biggest reason women fear being vulnerable with a man. I know that's what it was for me. But I've come to realize that 1 I was partially to blame for my past "opening up" not want responded to well I wasn't exclusive it the right and authentic way, I was doing it the way women typically do as you were talking about and trying to mask it in some make, and 2 one of my exes was verbally abusive and straight up told me I was "weak" because I cried yeah, that'll get you feeling hesitant to show that to what man after that.
But thankfully I have come to realize that the abusive guy is NOT the typical man, and other men do not deserve to be judged by his actions. I have also come to thankfully learn the right and authentic way to show vulnerability. I really think if women would come to understand these two things - that all men do not deserve to be judged by the actions of the "bad" ones, and 2 how to allow themselves to feel their emotions.
Men reveal how long they wait before making it exclusive with someone
And express them authentically, they would find a fulfilling and loving relationship, that is happy and satisfying for both, as men need us to do these two things as well. You make a solid point and it's a very mature thing to admit that you had a partial responsibility in your past. Even for myself I had a responsibility in my past relationships.